This has been a tough couple weeks for me. Not really sure why. I do know lots of tears later that i feel like there is a white elephant in my life that I continue to try to ignore.
Do you have one in your life? Something small, big, maybe even yellow. Everyone sees it but no one talks about it or to you about it in cause they may offend, become uncomfortable or just pain don't know what to say.
I think everyone has an elephant in their lives....now it is time to find a spotlight and start talking about it....
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
20 yrs old....
When I was 15 my life was rocked. Now before I get into that let me give you a small back story. I was at the alter one Sunday night when I hear a small voice. I hear God tell me a that He is my rock and in the next couple months He is going to become my foundation in life because everything I love will be destroyed.
I now look back at that experience and think man that may have been a little harsh for a teenager, yet He was so right.
So now to the real story...right after Christmas I come home from a youth group event so excited that the boy I liked likes me back. I am on cloud nine. I skip into the house and notice silence. My mom meets me at the stairs and says your dad is gone, I know she did not mean he out getting milk. He was gone to never come home again. He left soon after for Virginia where our relationship crumbled.
I not only lost my dad that day, I lost my youth, my family dynamic, plus much more that may be too much for this simple blog.
I was thinking about those months following on this 20th anniversary, my foundations was definitely destroyed and I (with God's help) built new stronger foundations! My friendships, family, financial and self esteem all changed...but God only became bigger!
Am I happy my dad left, am I grateful my Father will never leave -YES!
Out of ashes the Lord has raised up a woman that has learned the hard way to lean on God. I love my life and I am so grateful for all the protection God has given me over the years. No matter what life throws at me God is always holding me and He is in control!
Happy 20th anniversary to my family I know we never thought life (and it has never gone back to life as a whole family) could be good again but with God's help we have been blessed.
I now look back at that experience and think man that may have been a little harsh for a teenager, yet He was so right.
So now to the real story...right after Christmas I come home from a youth group event so excited that the boy I liked likes me back. I am on cloud nine. I skip into the house and notice silence. My mom meets me at the stairs and says your dad is gone, I know she did not mean he out getting milk. He was gone to never come home again. He left soon after for Virginia where our relationship crumbled.
I not only lost my dad that day, I lost my youth, my family dynamic, plus much more that may be too much for this simple blog.
I was thinking about those months following on this 20th anniversary, my foundations was definitely destroyed and I (with God's help) built new stronger foundations! My friendships, family, financial and self esteem all changed...but God only became bigger!
Am I happy my dad left, am I grateful my Father will never leave -YES!
Out of ashes the Lord has raised up a woman that has learned the hard way to lean on God. I love my life and I am so grateful for all the protection God has given me over the years. No matter what life throws at me God is always holding me and He is in control!
Happy 20th anniversary to my family I know we never thought life (and it has never gone back to life as a whole family) could be good again but with God's help we have been blessed.
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