Lesson from a Kids Christmas Party

As I continue on this journey of being thankful till Christmas, I am finding my view is changing on many things in my life. This last week we hosted a party for my daughter's school friends and then last night I helped throw a party at church for the 3rd-5th grade girls. When I walked away from last night's party I felt exhausted and thoughtful. I want to share a couple life changing moments.

1. Starbucks is not the true meaning of Christmas: We had the girls perform songs or plays they made up for our evenings entertainment. One of the plays was about what we so often focus on for the meaning of Christmas. Some of the answers were presents, Santa, time with family, and Starbucks in a red cup. Yes, they explained were all parts of Christmas but the true meaning was the sacrifice God made to send his son to the earth to have a relationship with us.

2. Lonely in a crowd: we had a large amount of girls come out in their pj's to celebrate at the party. It was wild and a blast. As my daughter and I got in the car she was close to tears. I was not sure the emotion behind the tears, so after some digging,she explained how hard it was to be a room full of so many girls and not have a single friend. My heart broke! I was reminded that we so often stay in our comfort zones and do not reach out in "party" situations to someone who may be alone. I will be more careful to be a better friend to all those I meet.

3. Chaos is my jam: I love large crowds, lots of noise and crazy activities. Last night I was reminded that sometimes God also asks us to find rest and peace in Him. I find it easier to be in noise and ignore the pain under the surface. I can keep busy to "forget" the problems around me. I need to take time to be in God's presence and find healing and joy! I need to leave the chaos behind and seek His peace!

4. Find your place: I started volunteering on Wednesday nights on accident. I went to a meeting I thought was for new parents and it ended up being a volunteer meeting where I was now in a classroom with 2nd grade girls. I am not qualified to teach girls, to lead them or to guide them...I do it despite my shortcoming. And to be clear, I love every minute and every girl! They are the highlight of me week and they bring me joy to hear their stories. I cherish every giggle, song and tear. If you feel unqualified to step into a leadership role in a kid's life - you are in the perfect place to do so! Trust me you will not regret the decision!

This blog is a bit scattered but to be honest my life is completely scattered. I am learning to live in the moment and take time to focus on the true meaning of this season. My prayer for you (and myself) is that you find your place in 2018, find God's peace, and that you take time to see all that you can be grateful for in your life!

Derailed by Cookies

Thanksgiving till Christmas is my motto this season. I am trying to make life simpler, live in the moment and finding moments of gratefulness every day.

As the day of Christmas gets closer, the list seems to get bigger and more out of control. I am taking steps simplify shopping and gift giving. Yet for some reason, cookies have taken me to a place of chaos. Let me tell you how cookies have brought me to my knees...

I have been "breezy" this season with almost everything. I have enjoyed time I would normally be running around trying to make Christmas perfect, sitting on the couch reading Christmas stories to my daughter. Then I remembered a "must" for Christmas the cookies! Now to explain the stress of this seemingly stress free task, I must give you a rare glimpse into my life...

1. My family is gluten free - yes - no all purpose flour in our home, which means cookies are harder to make and less tasty (more crumbly). This leads to several problems: you can not go out and buy cookies and make them festive, you can not join a cookie exchange to get variety, or even use your grandma's recipes. 

2. I normally make dozens of kinds of cookies/bars. We have 3 people in this house and I bake like I am feeding a small country. I know this is my own expectation I have placed on myself since my grandma would bake dozens of cookies and mail them out to people -  which I have never done I still feel the need make tons!

3. Time and money - cookies need lots of both. Since I never seem to find the items I need for cookies I start fresh every year and find I now have 3 when I get home from the store. Stores are full of choices, crowds and high prices. The store is the reason for this blog!

Now the holiday meltdown...I was in a rush trying to fit too may things into my day off. Kevin and I made plans for me to be home at 4 pm, eat dinner and make cookies as a family to help with the stress.

Fast forward a crazy day to Target at 3 pm, I have not yet gotten groceries for the week or anything for baking in 1 hour, I am freaking out.(that may be a kind way to say what happened). I was at a new Target who seemed to have a rush on EVERYTHING I needed to make this tradition a reality. I was honestly loosing my mind, I felt like the biggest failure as I left the parking lot with half of the ingredients I needed, over priced GF flour, and only oranges for food for the week. Yes, tears fell on my way home knowing no baking was going to happen and I was 30 minutes late. I arrived home to have my husband so kindly bring in the bags and ask where are the pizzas for dinner? Oh my I even forgot the pizzas?! As the thought of everything I did not do that day started to overwhelm me, I looked at my daughter, her smile reminded me she did not care about the amount of cookies we baked, just that she wanted to be with her mom.

It was a humbling moment. I had stressed, cried and got upset over baking cookies to miss the bigger picture - making memories with my family! I took a breathe and we had a blast making Christmas Rice Krispie treats. 

My friends I once again was reminded to keep things simple, to find a silver lining and to enjoy every moment God gives us.

Challenge Accepted

A couple days before Thanksgiving I wrote a blog on the craziness of this season. I decided to try to stay in the spirit of Thanksgiving by slowing down and finding things to be thankful for every day.

Our Thanksgiving was very nice and calm...then the bottom fell out. I was having a lovely Sunday  and about 2 pm I had a kidney stone attack, the pain was severe. I have kidney stones often but this one was yucky. As I was standing over the sink vomiting from the extreme pain, I found myself praying and being grateful for this kind of pain only happens rarely.

Though out this past week not everything has gone well. Stress creeps in and takes away my thankful attitude. I have got lost in emotional toll this season can cause, yet I live in grace knowing I can start fresh the minute I remember my Thanksgiving till Christmas challenge.

All that to say, after arguably the worst week of my life, I learned a very life changing thing. Thankfulness produces Joy! I found myself emotional and physically exhausted, yet in the midst of this craziness I remained able to find something to be grateful for everyday. As I struggled to find a silver lining in life, when I found something to be grateful for in my life, I saw something to be joyful about, God has supplied so much to be thankful for and His love, grace and joy is some of the many.

Here is my list of things I have found this week to be grateful for:

~Gluten free lifestyle - this has brought heal to my daughter!
~Dinner with friends - refreshing time can help heal
~Doctors - They can give clarity
~Advent Calendars - fun to have something small to look forward to everyday
~Christmas ornaments - they remind me of fun times in my past and how wonderful my life has been!
~Free santa - able to do something traditional but not have to pay lots to get a good pic
~Simple gifts - this year I made a decision to not make gifts for teacher, I bought them!!!

As my journey continues with looking for ways to keep Thanksgiving till Christmas, I challenge you to join me. Let's find our Joy with God's help this Christmas season.

Not Your Average Thanksgiving Blog

This week is Thanksgiving. A week that kicks of the busiest holiday I can think off.  A season full with you lots events, shopping, and expectations.

Thanksgiving is the day we stop and say thanks for all we have in our lives. I think this is an amazing practice to put into our daily lives.

Today I want to focus on what this holiday can be if we are not careful. I fall into many of these traps every year.

1. BUSYNESS: this is the time of year we pack our schedules to the brim. Not that they are free and clear any other time of year, we add to our ready crazy schedules. We NEED to do so many things. Yes, I think parties with friends, cookie baking, shopping, decorating, cooking for large crowds of family, wrapping, even elf on the shelf are fun...they all can cause lots of unwanted stress.

2. EXPECTATIONS: In my family these are called traditions. We can get so caught up in the things we have always done we can miss the fun new things around us. I am so guilty of this one, traditions run my life during this season, I never want any one in my life to not feel my love. Yet just because 5 years ago I thought sending a card to everyone I love would be fun does not mean it is fun now. (as your list grow, people move, letters come back, and I need to find something clever to say about our very boring life - LOL) This year I am committing to making a my "HAVE to" into I "GET to" if I feel like it would be fun.

3. LONELINESS: We are often in a room full of people feeling alone. This time of year is had for many different people. This time of year emotions are elevated for people who have lost love ones, are divorced, away from family, or dealing with an illness for themselves or someone the love (the list could go on and on). I feel like we can often look at others mountain top moments in at a time we are living in the dark valley of life. Please be aware of others valleys and if you are in a valley - you are NOT alone, we all struggle in life. For me I struggle keeping my head above water most days physically and as I see others running marathons. If I compare my bad days to their marathon I would never get out of bed. Some days I thank God I can get out of bed!

What can the root of all of the above...in my humble opinion...Un -Thankfulness! I do not take time in my life to be grateful for all I have in my life. I am too busy keeping up with the "Jones" to see my life is pretty amazing! What trap do fall into during this holiday season? Is there a way to make Thanksgiving a longer holiday than just one day with turkey?

I am going to blog or Facebook over the next few weeks my journey of Thanksgiving till Christmas. Will you join me in celebrating Thanksgiving till Christmas? Yes if you want you can have pie everyday to make it more fun ;)

 

Tie Your Shoes

Every year my daughter's school goes on a rollerskating field trip and before that field trip they practice rollerskating in P.E. class.This year the night before the field trip my daughter asked if we could teach her how to tie her shoes. The teacher had made a comment in class that even the little kids can tie their own shoes. She was humiliated at her lack of ability in this area. - I was even more humiliated since I have never thought about teaching her to tie her shoes - it only comes up once a year so I never focused on the skill. We took 10 minutes of working on tying shoes and she was a pro!

Now before you start judging my awful parenting, you could not say anything that I did not say to myself. I had failed as a mom, which lead to my daughter being made fun of in front of her class by a teacher...MY fault!

This event was like a snowball, it lead to a conversation with my husband that we realized how much we have not taught her and where we are lacking in helping her be "normal".  The things we "need" to teach her and guide her in became longer than one of my Walmart receipts.

The next day I was feeling overwhelmed by my inability to be a good mom, I said to my husband that I was sure this is why God only gave us one child  - God know I would not be able to keep up with more children.

Why do I always jump to the negative? I did not even think about how brilliant she is in so many areas, how she is a loving friend and that she is learning new things every day. I focused on the few things that she needs to know once a year. I focused on what Bible stories she did not know, when she know more than most her age. I focused on her slowness to reading not that her reading comprehension is 3 grades above her current grade.

Let's make this personal. How many times do you worry about the negative thing(s) in your life or the things you should do better? Do you think about those things so much you miss out on the fun around you? I have been known to get lost in my frustrations and miss an impromptu dance by my daughter or a  LOL moment with my co workers.

The main lesson I have learned from this "tying of shoes situation"  is to be thankful for what we have taught her, what she has learned, and the ares where she is still growing. Thankfulness put everything into perspective. So if you do not know how to tie your shoes, you can still learn...but please take the time to count all the things you are brilliant at doing.

Shakin' it Zumba Style

So I had a crazy friend suggest we try Zumba one Saturday. I even more crazy, agreed to try a class. I have now only been doing Zumba for a little over a month, but I have learned so much I just had to share.

Here is what I have learned:

1. I hate sweating!! I knew this fact before, yet now I pay $ every week to sweat in front of many other ladies, it is very humbling. I thought I would get used to it, find it cleansing, or something cool. Truth it is none of those things it is gross and wet. - YUCK!

2. I can do anything  if I put my mind to it...for those who know me personally know I am not a woman who is physically fit. I love to walk...at a slow leisurely pace. After my first week, I was not sure Zumba was my cup of tea. Okay, honestly I hated it!! (still not my favorite part of the week) When I sat in my living room with ever muscle aching, the next day I made a decision to stick with Zumba. I can get better, more in shape, or even love this class. Ever Saturday morning I come up with a 1,000 reason to not go, and 1 reason to go...I am doing this to better myself!

3. Cheerleaders are IMPORTANT! Every week I am amazed at how the instructor keeps me motivated. She is having fun, full of energy, and super fit. She makes me feel like a super hero. My hubby is also so supportive, never pushy and cheering me on as I get ready to go.  Plus my crazy friend who had this idea, she is always so positive and her accountability has kept me going. These few cheerleaders have made all the difference in me going back every week....it is always fun to have people on the sidelines cheering for you!

4. Be humble - I have spent my life hiding in the back ground, being the funny fat girl and trying to be perfect. Zumba has taught me I am going to make ton mistakes (you should see me making up my own moves, since I have no rhythm). I can be the fat girl in the room and not be embarrassed by my inability to move the way a girl 1/2 my size can move. I am not competing with the other ladies in the room, I am competing with myself. Humility is a hard pill to swallow, but for me has been freeing! I can be me, even when I am sweating.

5.   We have lots of muscles. I had no idea how many muscle were in my body until they all hurt. I have felt different muscles with every workout. New muscles show themselves and say I need to be used more.

The real reason I am writing this blog is because I have learned I am not alone in fitness being challenging. If you are reading this, know I am the Most unlikely person to write on fitness. I am laughing at myself for even writing this, yet God has bigger plans for me then to sit on the couch. God has adventures for me to go on, people to inspire, and hope for the future. Please start dreaming, maybe not about being more fit, but what is something you need to conquer. What fear is keeping you back. Time to step into your Zumba class and live the adventure you were made for!

Time to Cook...

I have had the privilege of teaching 4th grade girls on Wednesday nights. I learn as much as they have, most weeks. We have laughed, cried, prayed and done crafts together. So when the opportunity to teach them cooking, I was so excited. I love cooking, baking and in general anything to do with food. The day came for me to see the kitchen, as I walked into the kitchen a sense of dread came over me....no source of heat! When I say no source of heat I mean no oven, no stove top, no microwave! What am I going to do, I am suppose to teach 20 or more girls a cooking class with no heat source and not much space.

As I stepped back I realized this too could be a teaching point. Often in life we do not have all the equipment or resources, yet we need to make it work. I decided to think out side of the box. We made pancakes, made freezer jam, made tacos with guacamole, and 2 desserts (dirt cups and fruit pizzas). They had a blast. They loved making messes, eating new food, smashing cookies and avocados (not at the same time), and using knifes.

I did need to work harder outside of the kitchen to make it work for them, yet they never know what happened behind the scenes  - like the night I was up really late after working 12 hours making dozens of sugar cookies for them to frost and top with fruit. The hours of shopping and planning so they did not have to pay a penny and could just enjoy. My goal was to share my passion of cooking and hopefully have them find confidence.

As I finished cleaning up last night I realized something, I was acting like God. Not a self promoting thought  - a humbling thought. So often in life we have no idea what goes into the background to make our path. What doors are opened for us that we take for granted. How a kind word placed on someones lips lifts our spirit. The nights or times God reminds someone to pray for us. He is always working in the background to make us find passion and feel confident.

My challenge this week is to take a moment and peak behind the curtain to see how God is moving things for your benefit!

One of These Things are Not Like the Others...

We all want to fit in, be liked and have a "normal" life. For some of us...okay for me it is impossible.

I was an awkward young child, awkwardly quiet and I had a really hard time connecting with peers. This has not changed much for me, I still stand in a room at work and realize I am the odd one out. I am not upset by this in any way, I just work harder.

So the other night we had a huge black tie event at our church. My husband was out of town, so I went alone. Now, yes, there were lots of single people there, not many married singles. You spend the whole evening explaining why you are alone and how you are fine with coming alone. Most people would stay home, I almost did, yet I thought if I had to wait to only do things with my husband who works weekends then I would never leave the house. I am a confident woman who can go out and eat by herself, watch movies by herself and feel confident in her marriage.

This got me thinking about all the things in my life that are odd. The list got too long for this blog to fit them all...I am a curvy woman in a skinny women's world, I am a full time working mom surrounded by SAHMs, I attend many functions by myself despite being married, many people are more educated than I am, and I have only one child. (I could go on and on) - Now this is not a pity party for Jennie, this is a realization that I let these things hold me back. I avoid friendships because of these things, I do not speak up because what I have to say is not relevant, plus I hide my passions/dreams from others who are doing what I want to do because it am not as "qualified"

So here is my question to you: What is stopping you from living out your dreams? What is holding you back from moving further in your career or relationships?

Together let's overcome our oddness! Let's stand together and find that we are unique!

              

God's Got This!

This time last year I was in a dark place.  We lost our dog of 13 yrs on May 11th. He was there when my friends started having babies and I could not, he was there through several miscarriages...I could go on, yet that is not the point of this blog :)

On May 11th, 2017, I was watching our new puppy chase around his birthday balloons as we celebrated his 1st birthday in style. As my daughter and I were planning this day I ask my daughter if she would like to get flowers to s memorialize the other dog's death a year before? She replied "I  have mourned him for a year, I would like to just celebrate." The thought hit me...wow, God had this planned!

God knew before we did what we would need a year later. A celebration of a birthday on the same day of the death we were mourning.

How often do we only see the tragedy, and not see the miracle that God is working in the background. I have taken time this week to think of all the things that have lightened the blow of a bad situation.  Everything from a kind word from a stranger to huge financial miracles just when you need them (not a moment before).

We learn so much from walking through pain, so I do not wish all struggles away. I am a believer that God is creating silver linings for my circumstances. 

So no matter what you are walking through find hope in this simple phrase...God's Got This! He knows what you need to heal, thrive and He loves you so much!

"...weeping may stay for the night,

    but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5  

Mission: Make a Mother's Day She Will Never Forget

This week we gear up for Mother's day. I remember as a 15 year old the idea of some how finding a gift that show how much I appreciate all the sacrifice my mom made for us kids. Wait, let me give some background.

When I was 15 yrs old my dad left 2 days after Christmas, as my parent's marriage had come to a sudden end. (in my 15 yr old mind). My mom was a stay at home mom and never really worked full time out side of the house. In January as we went back to school my life changed so much it still makes my head spin. I went from being a kid to being a responsible adult (again, in my mind). My mom got several jobs and worked very hard to keep food on the table and us in our house.

It is crazy to think that at the age of 42 she started over, she was single, had 3 kids (the youngest was 7), she had never used her teaching degree and had a pile of debt.

I remember so many nights, she would sit at the kitchen table. After a long day at 1 or more of her jobs (she worked 7 days a week) she would be balancing her checkbook, paying bills, and crying. As she cried not realizing we were watching her - she would often be praying. I would hear her sing or pray aloud. At night if she was not working or paying bills she would be reading and writing in her journal.

As a 15 yr old I did not understand the pressure she must of been under to keep it all together for our family, yet I did know I needed to show her she was loved. She may not have the love of my dad any more but the 3 of us kids loved her - so I set out on a mission for mother's day.

Mission Mother's Day: Show mom how much she means to us in every way we can.

#1. Clean the house: Since, I was 15 I delegated this task to my younger siblings - thus maybe not the cleanliest it had ever been - yet they tried....

#2. Breakfast in bed: Yes, the traditional make your mom soggy cereal and burnt toast (or in our case almost not toasted toast - our toaster was not working). I think I also cooked an egg, not an edible one I do know that.

#3. One Dozen Red Roses: I had no car, no money and no idea how much roses cost on Mother's day - yet I was determined! I called every floral shop in the yellow pages. I finally found one who would deliver them to me, without charge. I meet the young man outside my house and paid him in quarters, dimes and pennies - no joke I even had heard you were suppose to tip a floral delivery so I gave him $.50 and some candy. He was so gracious and kind I never thought what I did was odd.

Did I make a Mother's day that was unforgettable for my mom - honestly she does not remember any of this Mother's day. Can I blame her... no she was just trying to survive at this time in her young life.  I think now of how much she sacrificed on a daily basis. How she pulled herself up - worked 3 jobs, went back to college, send all 3 kids to a private school, took us on mini vacations, keep her faith in God even through the lowest moments in life.

She is now a great success in the business world. She is a strong leader and kind friend. She is an amazing mom/mother in law/grandma now, yet I saw her at her lowest point in life - and I saw strength, determination, faith, and one of the hardest working woman, I will ever known.

So matter what this week looks like for you, please know people are watching and learning from you. I hope you can all find a woman to pattern yourself after like I did at 15 yrs old.

Any Excuse for a Cupcake

May is a very special month in our home...our puppy's birthday! Caspian has been in our lives for 8 months now and boy have a learned lots about what I do not know.  First thing I learned quick...he is full of energy and I am not.

As our family starts planning for his 1st birthday party (let's be honest, I will use every excuse I can find to make cupcakes), I started thinking about how much I have learned from Caspian. I thought I would share my nuggets of "what not to do as a dog owner" with you over the next couple weeks.


This week's focus -1. I love ROCKS: 

I love my puppy, yet the one thing that drives me crazy about him is: HE CHEWS EVERYTHING! He finds joy in chewing on anything he can get his paws on. I have often caught him eating small rocks from my daughter's rock collection. He is so excited to get any thing new to chew (like a toddler with a box). This got me thinking about contentment. We live in a world of instant gratification and too many choices, we tend to live in constant lack of contentment, looking for a better rock to chew.

I am learning to be content with the "rocks" in my life. They will make a great foundation for my future. 

If you want to read on how this puppy got into our lives read my blog Muddy Puppy

Home Alone!

For months, I have been dreaming about have a weekend all by myself. I can watch anything -  I want, I can eat anything  - I want, do all the crafts  - I dream up, sit in silence with no one to take care of, read all day, stay up late and even better sleep in late ect..

 So this past weekend my dream came true. I had bronchitis and my family left for a family funeral and my daughter went to her grandparent's home, since I was sick. Wow, even though I am sick this is going to be awesome!

When you spend your time always on the run, a weekend of relaxation seems to be heaven.

So Friday at 9:30 am comes, the house is empty (except for the dog and I) all I can hear is the clock ticking. By 11:00 am I am ready to go crazy.

Bored Puppy - Caspian Frodo

So the weekend was a time of complete quiet and relaxation. I will be honest  - I hated it. I could not wait till my family came home to make things messing and crazy again. I was bored, yes bored. I thought that is what I wanted time to myself. It was not what I wanted - here is what I learned...

1. SPEAK UP (say what I want): So often in life we go with the flow, we do what our family or friends need us to do. How often do we take the time to see what we need or like? I guess I have not done this enough since I thought I wanted silence - FYI silence drives me CRAZY!! I tend to go with the routine, not thinking about my needs or wants. I found out this weekend all I need to do to feel like I have a say is speak up. If I want pizza for dinner, I just need to say (I am the mom, right!) My daughter asks all the time for special dinners or treats - why can't I?

2. Dream: When you think it is too late to dream, maybe that is a time to start dreaming again. This past weekend I realized I have set my dreams aside for goals. Yes, goals are great, yet very different from a dream. Goals are a list of things you know you can do. Dreams are a bucket list of things you only wish you would someday get to...

3. TV is BORING!: Here, I was hoping to binge watch all the shows I never get time to watch, only to find...I am watching other people having adventures.  Now don't get me wrong I enjoy TV shows, I just do want to ever spend a whole weekend only watching TV. Maybe I need new shows feel free to introduce me to some - taking suggestions :)

4.Grateful:  I am so thankful for the crazy life God has given me. I love working full time even though we need to make sacrifices to make that work for a family.  My husband is gone a lot, and I love that he can life his dream, change people's lives one church at a time, then come home and make our family complete. As my daughter gets bigger her social life is taking off, I am enjoying the time I have with her because she will not be home forever. 

So over all staying home not my dream or how I would like to spend many other weekends in the future, yet now I know that and I can find a new dream to try. 

This week's challenge is do something on your bucket list. Or make a bucket list start dreaming and finding out what you love and what you will never do again.

To Blog or Not to Blog.....

To blog or not to blog...a good question. In this day and age is it "safe" to put yourself out there? Sharing thoughts, emotions and personal details on to the inter-web. I have given it lots of thought through out the years.

For me it is a way to connect with people who I am not always with face to face, for those who know me personally you may see a more reserved person, quiet. Others say I am loud. I am both, I am reserved when it comes to sharing my opinion, and a little too quick to jump in with a joke.

Here are several reasons I decided blogging was for me:

1. I love writing!

2. Vulnerability - Hear me roar (or cry) - This is my way of sharing how I am processing/struggling through something without doing a huge rant on social media. I am not a verbal processor - it takes time for me to share my thoughts and feelings with others. I have found this can often leave you feeling lonely and isolated. This blog helps me feel connect and process through life with others.

3. Other Also Struggle: I know I am not alone in feeling I do not measure up to the world's standard (perfect 2.2 kids, perfect marriage, thin body, outgoing personality with tons of friends ect...) My dream is to show others there is hope despite what they struggles they may have in their life. I also hope you see you are not alone...

4. Life is funny: My life is never boring, I don't think if you looked at life through a blog, yours would be either. I find the humor in life's crazy moments and then share it with you.

5. Faithfulness: I am writing this blog because I feel God has given me different lenses than may "Christians" I know there is hope along with despair, and God is big enough to hear ALL of my feelings not only the good ones.

Thanks to all of you for reading this blog. I have loved the comments and encouragement.
This week has a simple challenge -  God has made us all with different lenses in life - What make you unique?

Rain, Rain Go Away....

Today is a new day....

Easter week is not my favorite week. We celebrate and enjoy time away as a family (which I LOVE), yet since my miscarriage 3 Easters ago, my heart is heavy during Holy week. 

This got me to thinking...how often do we allow our past to sneak in and put a rain cloud over our day full of sunshine? 

I vow to this week live in the moment, enjoy each ray of sunshine (or chocolate bunny - Same thing right) and to look to my Creator for the plan He has for my day. 

Every day is new and full of potential, I may not wake up with more money, a thinner body, bigger home or even another child, yet I will never know what adventure awaits me if I am not willing to look. 

Take a risk this week, live in freedom from you past or present ugly situation. Find joy in everyday things around you and live in the love God sent to us so long ago.

Happy Easter everyone - I pray your week is full of FREEDOM and JOY!

Sam's Short Story - "Dog and his Ball"

Dog was playing with his ball. He was throwing it north and  then catching it. Hamster came over to Dog, "Can I play with you?" Hamster asked."NO" Dog replied, tossing his ball in the air. "Okay!" said Hamster, walking away.

Raccoon came over, "Can I play with you, Dog?"

"NO way!" Dog answered.
As Raccoon walked away Cat walked by, "May I paly fetch with you, Dog?"

"Why would I want to play with you when I am having so much fun without you?" Dog kept throwing the ball in the air.

Dog throw the ball  high in the air, But before he could catch it Owl caught it with his feet. Do you want to play ball? It would be fun" said Owl, throwing the ball to Dog while lowering to the ground.

"NO, no, no, no, I want to play alone" Dog shouted, throwing his ball on the ground.

It was night and all the animals had gone away. Dog throw the ball so hard it looked like a star in the sky, but instead of coming down, it stayed. The ball twinkled in the North direction and it was now the biggest star in the sky.

The next day, Dog asked if he could play catch with Hamster, Raccoon, Cat and Owl. And they played all day with Cat's new ball.

This is how the North Star got there. The rest of the stars in the Big Dipper are all balls from pups who learned different lessons but this the biggest lesson of sharing and it was Dog's favorite ball so that is why it is the brightest in the sky.

By Samantha S

Surprise Box

The other day I come home from work and my daughter says "Mom, is there something we should know?" I saw the box and laughed. "No, sweetie, unless they know something I don't know"  - She replied, "Don't they know I am 10 and I do not need formula anymore"

We laughed at this company that sent a 40 something woman with a 10 year old a box of baby stuff. I know woman my age have babies, my little one just knows that we waited for her and 10 years since her. We are not adding to our family any time soon.

This blog is not about us having babies, (I have blogged about that several times before) - this box got me to start thinking about how much my daughter has grown and changed. She has grown physically, mentally and spiritually. She now has an opinion of her own, she makes decisions for herself, and she had friends that have influence in her life.

Babies are a fresh start - they come into the world pure and none of the have a chip on their shoulder.

I think back 10 years ago, I was a scared young mom and 10 year before that a scared young(er) pastor's wife - making mistake after mistake. I am so grateful for grace and forgiven for those years.

In my teens, I made a decision that has forever influenced my life - to follow the Bible verse that says -"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you.… "Proverbs 25:21-22. 

I choose to forgive and show kindness to all in my life, even my "enemies". I do not have a list of wrongs against me in my past, I do not hold my daughter responsible for all the nights I did not sleep when she was a baby, I know she did not know better - why do we expect every one to be where we are in their beliefs, their behavior, their attitude ect... - I think it is time we show others grace like we show our children for their mistakes.

*to be clear I am not perfect at this, I make mistakes by holding a grudge  - yet this box is a reminder to me to forgive.

What Do You Have Faith In?

I have been thinking about roller-coasters this week. No matter how many times you watch a video or friends tell you about what it is like, it is only the first time you strap into the roller-coaster and click your way up the first "hill" then fly down the first drop that you fully understand what the ride is like.

When you ride that roller-coaster you can not turn back, they do not let you off, no matter how much you beg and cry (trust me I have tried). You are on the coaster till the twirling and death defying drops are over. (Yes, you are right, I am not a big fan). We put so much trust in this man made machine to bring us back to the start with all of our body parts in place and most of the time we get in line to do it again.

Yet when it comes to trusting God's plan for our life, we try to change the plans. We have seen many go before us. We have heard of the stories and read them through out history...like Mary.

Let me just take a quick detour to talk about Mary mother of Jesus. She was a regular girl, who had an angel visit that turned her life upside down. She was told she was pregnant and would have God's son, her fiance almost left her, then after that she had to travel across the country on a donkey. (Side note I did not like traveling across the city to Target at the end of my pregnancy let alone of a donkey - I give her lots of credit for this feat) Then she gets to their destination and she has to give birth in a barn (worst birthing story ever). Now things calm down for her family till they are run out of the country because the king is trying to kill her baby. (Boy I am not sure my faith would have continued at this point). Then her son grows up to be loved by many, she sees him preform miracles and give people hope, and just as it can't get any better the kill her first born son. And then as her roller-coaster life continues her beloved son comes to life again. Wow her story is incredible.

What if when the angel came to Mary and she said - I bet you should ask my friend Abby, she is more equipped for this task. Yet she did not  - Mary said "Lord, you lead, I will follow!" (not an exact quote!!!) She would have probably have heard the prophecies  - yet that could not have prepared her for the full plan she agreed to, when she said yes to following God's plan.

Why do we trust a metal roller-coaster with such small hesitation and so often question God at every up and down in life?

Are we willing to stay on the roller-coaster God has planned for us?  Next time you question God's plan know he is in control and he wants the best for your life!

Use Everyday Things to Inspire YOU!

What inspires you? 

I found myself this week looking at my wedding ring, no it is not the original that one broke 7 years ago. I thought I would share my 3 simple thoughts I have had about this ring.

1. Simplicity is Important to Me: I originally had a solitaire diamond.  When it broke I found this ring and loved the simplicity of the design. Before when I was younger, life was about showing others what I could do or what I had. I was trying to keep up with the "Jones" with having a large, perfect color ring like everyone else. We seem to look around and see others homes, waistlines, lifestyles and want better for ourselves. When I look down at my ring a see a symbol of love and commitment. It also reminds me that we have chosen to live in a small mobile home, not out of necessity but out of the desire to live simpler. For us simplicity brings freedom.

2. You Can Do Anything: Several years ago I set a goal to run a 5K. I am not a runner or an athlete, yet I know I wanted to prove I could do it for myself. I trained and love walking...the morning of the 5K my husband and I went off to the event.  My husband and I started together and it was soon apparent he was much faster than I was going to be (without training LOL).  I walked around that lake singing "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", after a while my husband came back down the trail to find me since I was taking a long time and walked with me to the finish line. It did not matter to me that my time was higher than I thought it should be, I was so excited to have finished a goal I set! Now, you ask what does that have to do with the ring? After that event we went to lunch and saw a jewelry store going out of business. At that jewelry store I found my perfect new wedding band!

3. It Takes Two:

  "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down,one can help the other up." 

We so often take this verse only for married couples, yet we all need other people.  Some days, I look at my ring and remember I need to get out of my office to talk to others, get their advice on something I am working on, and just laugh. Our world is full of things that isolate us from other people, we have to work on have relationships in our lives that will lift us up when fall down.

Challenge for all of us: Look around you and find something that inspires you to step outside your comfort zone, inspires you to challenge yourself to set a new frightening goal, or find something that will just remind you that you are loved!

5 lesson from the pick up line at school

I have a 4th grader who we get to drop off and pick up every day from her elementary school. I am shocked by parent's behavior as we drive through or wait for our kids in the drop off and pick up lines. I thought I would share with you 5 things I have learned about life in 5 1/2 years of time in this line.

1. FOLLOW the Rules; You would think this is something grow adults would understand, yet every day I see parents going around cones, going through the cross guards flags, making up parking spots, honestly the list could go on and on. In life, I am generally a rule follower, I am not always innocent of driving the exact speed, yet no one is perfect. When you do not follow the rules it so often leads to trouble, maybe not right away, it always seems to get you in trouble with someone eventually. Plus it is very irritating for those of us who have to see you do something stupid and put yourself or others in harm. So in life following the rules can be a good thing, most of the time they are rules for a reason!

2. Early Bird Gets the Parking Spot: I like the pick up area because no matter your status in life we are equal in the pick up lane. No one has a reserved spot because the are cute and rich (at least that I know about). We all wait in line in the order we came. All of our kids are released at the same time, they do not choose the smart kids to leave first. Equality can cause you to "up" your game and get there early if you want a good spot.

3. Be Nice: Courtesy is something we so lack in the world. A smile, pulling forward so another car can fit in, and thinking of others can make someones day. I can still tell you the rude mom that yelled at me for making a mistake in parking when my daughter was in 1st grade. It is hard to make up from a bad 1st impression.

4. To Meet People you Must Get Out of Your Car: Friendships can not start unless you go say hi. If you want to make friends you must go out and take a chance.  You must be willing to take a risk and you also need to learn to invest in others.  I have made many great friends while waiting for my daughter -  in swim lessons, in the pick up line at school, at a sporting event - where in life could you be meeting people because you are both "waiting"?
*side note - if you stay in your car you may not make friends but you can stay in your jammie pants.

5. They are Watching You: your kids are watching every move you make especially in high stress situations like the pick up line. They will mimic every thing you do in that line, or the grocery line, or the way you treat the waitress. When you hear them repeat what you said or the action you did will they be in trouble or will you be proud of them?

My 2  challenges to you:
1. Think about what example are you setting for others around you. Is it time for a change?

2. How do you spend your time in the "pick up lane"? Should you be investing friends or maybe, what I do, I spend my down time taking a breathe (and letting my worries and stresses of my work day go), so when my daughter gets in the car I am ready to listen to her day.

Do You Have Balance in Your Life?

My husband often shares with me videos from Darren Hardy when he thinks it is something I might find interesting. One day a few week ago he set me on titled "Life Balance is a Crock"

The thought in the video was a challenge that balance in life is something we chase after and never achieve. I have spent years trying to find the ultimate balance for life. I find many days I sit down after dinner with a cup of tea and see a clean house, loving husband, my child contentedly doing her homework, no one from work emailing with a problem and the dog quietly taking a nap. HA HA HA HA! I can not recall that ever happening. I am always feeling like I am not doing enough, there is always some where I should be cleaning, some one I should be spending more time with, and always too many things on my check off list, I wish I had never put on the list in the first place!

On vacation - yes my little girl made a check list everyday of things we needed to do...

Yes, balance is something we are all looking for, yet is it something like Darren Hardy said, "a pot of gold at the bottom of the rainbow". My thought is yes, we constantly are setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment. We spend our time comparing ourselves (and our life events) to things on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, I could go on and on! I also compare myself to my mom's generation (they do it all! Working moms with clean houses and home cooked meals every night) and Martha Stewart (don't get me started on the damage she has done)

I want it all, a clean house and time to relax. Can I have both? Most days my choices are: clean the house or go for a walk...only 24 hours in a day and I refuse to loose any more sleep!
I ask myself this morning why do we chase after the "pot of gold"? Why can I not look around my house and focus on the clean kitchen and not focus on the craziness happening in the living room.

Today my challenge is find balance in the life I have chosen. I will not live in the framework I feel I should have, yet live in the moment extending grace to myself and my family for the unexpected interruptions. Living life in a messing house, eating popcorn for dinner and being grateful because I worked a long week and a pay check is on it's way!  - that my friend is my new balance!

Muddy Puppy

Many years ago my friends started having babies. I was not able to start that journey with them so we got a dog. He was my fur baby. He was 13 yrs old when he died on May 11, 2016. On that day I vowed to never get another dog. They are to much work and pain. I missed him too much to see past my grieve.

A couple months later I was at kids camp with my 9 yr old daughter. It was "ask God for what you need" night, I was handling some things in the back of the room, I finally sat down to just look around. As I sat there, a thought was dropped into my mind (I am pretty sure my daughter was praying at this time), the thought was my daughter needed a dog. She is an only child and would need a dog to comfort her when she was a teen or tween. So she was not alone. 

I was not happy with this thought process, I DID NOT want another dog! 

Well to make a long story short of a very stubborn mom, after my 40th birthday party we went to go find a new dog for my daughter. 

We got to the farm and I found the cutest little puppy I had ever seen, it was love! She was snugly and soft. Mean while my family found a puppy who out in the yard, covered in mud and running around with all the other dogs. I was ready to buy the small cute none muddy puppy, When another family asked to hold it, I looked at my husband and daughter as they played with the muddy puppy, and reluctantly let the other family hold my puppy. Yes, you guessed it, they bought the snuggle puppy and I was left with the one my family liked, the muddy puppy.

I am not even sure I held the muddy puppy, he was going to be my daughter's dog so no need for me to like him. As I paid for the muddy puppy, the clerk gave me the information on the puppy: shots, medications, and date of birth. When he said the date of birth, I gasped. Our new muddy puppy was born on May 11th,, 2016 right then I looked at my family playing with the muddy puppy in the corner and I knew God had planned this muddy puppy just for our family!

Now, Caspian Frodo is part of our pack, he loves all of us and boy, do we love him!

Valentine Challenge

Yes it is that time of year again, and to be honest one of my least favorite "holidays". Valentines is a day I remember all who may be lonely or dealing with loss. - so for me it is a day to spend thinking and praying for others.  - That is a side not and not what I want to share today.

This morning my husband was on his way to preach as a guest speaker at a local church. As many of you know he does this around the country all the time, yet this morning he is not feeling well. A bad cold has crept in and he is miserable. I was already planning on this blog and I was reminded to spend the morning praying for him.

I know that may seem too simple to blog about, yet I was reminded of what he always says to congregations: No one knows your husband's/wives/kids needs like you do.No one will pray for your husband/wife/family like you could. I may be the only one in his circle that know how much he needs God's healing touch this morning.

I want to make a simple challenge for you this valentine season. Whether you are happily married, struggling in marriage, have kids, single with good friends, or have family you need to take time to pray for them this week. As you go through your week take time to realize how many times you think about your kids or any of the above and take a second or minute or even minutes and pray for them. You may be the person that know what they are going through, and you can make a difference in their life by praying for that second.

As we go through this week of "love" and candy - please take time to pray for those who you know the best, you know their struggle like no other!

Side note: You may be upset with the situation they are in or just angry at them, I can guarantee that if you take time to pray, when you want to scream at them for leaving the toilet seat up once again, not only will God meet you where you are at, He will be faithful and help your relationship with your loved one! God heals relationships!

Should you be in Jail?

Yesterday was a big day in our house...our little girl turned 10. So what did we do to celebrate, go to the MOA, of course. We meet the grandparents there for lunch and then she wanted to do some shopping, so I went to bring the presents to the car. Now we were running late and it was a Saturday at the MOA so we parked far from the door, several levels from where we were shopping. I was carrying  a huge bag. I got around the mall to the parking ramp and realized I had to take several staircases up to the level we parked on, I said to myself, "Come on you lazy, fat bum go up the staircase, you need the exercise"

Now that may seem harsh, yet believe me this is normal self talk for me. Yet, this time, I was convicted - as the thought ran through my mind/heart.
Since, I read a book a month back that said if we followed the verse, "Love your neighbor, as you love yourself" most of us would be friendless and many in jail, I am trying to think of what I would say to a friend.

I have so often thought of this simple thought this past month, if I had said the comment about to my daughter, I may have permanently scared her self image. Then, why do I allow these words to be thought and most of the time accepted for myself.  To be honest, habit and not loving myself the way I know God has designed me to love. I do not have grace for myself and often am frustrating at having to give grace to others for the same thing.

I think I am loving others so much more, yet the fact for me is I only have as much grace and love for them, as I have for myself. I may let their actions go with out harsh criticism in word or action, like I do with myself. Yet do I stand in judgement - honestly- yes. I beat myself up in word and action then judge others for not having the same "self criticism"

Wow that may be too honest and I may lose friends because of that statement, yet I think we are all too guilty of the one or both of those things. I am now aware of my very destructive thinking of myself and others. I am learning to give myself the grace and take captive every thought bringing them before the microscope of would I say this to someone else.

I will leave you with one last thought... would you be friendless or in jail if you treated others the way you allow yourself to be treated?

 * Submitted by a woman who is growing and learning daily to show the love of God to herself and others more everyday. I hope this very vulnerable blog makes you rethink how you talk to yourself or judge others.

Toilet Paper Fairy...

Today I was getting ready and realized my daughter left her shower gear on the floor as I picked it up I remembered a funny idea.

I had a great friend in junior high through my adult life. She was even a bridesmaid in my wedding. She was the first of my friends, to go where no of us dare go...live outside of our parent's home in an apartment. I was so jealous of her independence. One night, we were hanging out and she said that life was not easy living on your own....there is no toilet paper fairy!

I have paraphrased her eloquent story, yet the fact remains when you live in your parent's home, toilet paper just shows up in the house and if you are lucky it even is placed on the dispenser. I never had a second thought about buying toilet paper, the cost, or even the frequency of how I used it...

So often in that phase of life we have no idea how many fairy like things our parents are doing for us. I remember the shock, when I moved out, of having to take the laundry out of the wash. I used to put it into the wash (a huge win in my mind) and it would end up in my room folded and clean. Yes I had an awesome mom, yet the point goes beyond what she did, it was my expectation.

As I was thinking about the toilet paper fairy, my heart was reminded that too often I can treat God like a fairy in my life. He is there when I have a need or just want something. I am challenged to remember that he has called me, His friend. Friends have a relationship, give and take, investing time, and support each other as their lives changes.

I am not perfect at daily set time aside to see what God has for me, but I am committed to remember when the toilet paper runs out or the laundry is piling up, God has a plan for me and wants to walk through life with me, not just show up anonymously with clean laundry.

Will join this journey with me? Let us stop expecting God to be our "fairy" and make an investment in relationship!