When you enter the married stage the first question people ask (sometimes even in the reception line at your wedding) so when are you having kids? Wow, no pressure there.
What many people do not experience for long is the waiting on a baby. Some wait weeks, months some even years. but what many of the women forget (or do not talk about) is the monthly roller-coaster you are on.
You clock out the right time or temperatures, then you "feel" a little different this month. Oh my, could it be? You count out the months....July wow JULY! Wait - do not get excited you do not know anything yet. But I am excited this could finally be it! See that sausage smell totally made me gag! Should I say something or wait? I should wait don't want to be Peter "crying wolf" again. Today I am so tired! Wait I am so tired, how exciting!!!! I know this is the month, God has heard my prayers. And my pants are a little tighter that before.
And then it comes (insert screams, creepy music, and fog). Your hopes are dashed, and you are in pain. This is why my pants were tight! Oh and the tears - the river flows swifter with your tears.
The counting starts again, August would be okay too. Yeah August better for my job schedule and vacation time anyway. Yep, August gives me an extra month to re organize that room. God's time is perfect I am so glad "He is in charge"...
Over and over and over. So many women are on this roller-coaster in silence and alone. Why?
For those who have never struggled with infertility or miscarriages, you may have your own private roller-coaster. Eating roller-coasters, relationship roller-coaster, financial roller-coaster, the list could go on and on. You make a plan, it seems to be working and then the wheels fall off (you ate the box of cookies) and you feel hopeless again. But you get up, dust of the crumbs and make a new plan!
We are not alone. We have other women, they may not be going through exactly your (insert your Struggle) going through but they roller-coaster in other areas.
The most important thing to remember is God has a plan. When Daniel was thrown in the den with lions - I would like to think he was climbing the walls, crying/yelling, making his plan to escape. I am willing to admit maybe he was calm, but I can tell you either way God had a plan. Daniel did not know the plan was to save him, he prayed and hoped it was, but he did NOT know! Only God know his plan.
I am believing: baby or no baby, skinny or beautifully curvy, rich or poor - God has a plan. I am currently climbing my walls looking for an escape not willing to look down to see the loins peacefully resting and finding amusement in my struggle. When I take the time to listen I hear God's love surrounding me in their silence.
May you take the time to hear God's love in your struggle!
