Do you want more out of life?

Today I heard a get sermon on getting more out of life. Asking God for more. I have been thinking about this concept for a couple weeks now and thought it is time to share with all of you.

When I was in 7th grade (incidentally the same age as my only daughter is now) I was not a skinny kid. I was the size that is now my goal weight, funny enough. I was in my basement with my "good" friend, when she turned to me and said "If I were as fat as you I would kill myself". Not sure how I reacted at the time but I do know that phrase has never left my daily mindset.

I have spent my life always feeling (and sometimes being) the largest person in the room. Always wanting to be unseen and hoping if I was funny enough people would only remember that that not how fat I am.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life, in fact after that comment I went on a no eating at school diet - I would go all day till dinner only eating an apple. Boy, I wish I could talk to that teen and tell her how much she was hurting her future self.

Now why am I sharing this with you. No I do not have a weight loss program to share with you. I am sad to say I have let that comment become an reason to not ask for more out of life.

I have been content not being the outgoing girl, I know I am. I have never persuade a speaking career (even though I love speaking in front of crowds) because fat women do not speak. No one will listen to someone who does not have it all together. I have been afraid of so much because of how I see myself and never take time to see how others see me.

 What is holding you back from being the best you? What dream is a "pipe dream" because of your fears.

The other week I was at a women's retreat. A huge group of women and you know what I saw for the first time in my life...not a bunch of skinny perfect women (yes, there were a few) but women of all shapes and sizes. Women who all were hoping to connect with someone. Women with flaws.

If we are going to wait to have it all together before we try moving towards our dreams we will spend all of our life never moving forward.

I for one am going to start to take risks, me and my imperfect self conquering the world one blog at a time

Life can be Puzzling

Almost a year ago our family moved the dinning room table into the living room for our annual fall/Christmas puzzle season. In January as we took down the decorations we decided to keep it in the living room for a while and continue to do puzzles. Fast forward 10 months later and a dozen or so puzzles done, I have some fun ideas of how puzzles have impacted me.

Each member family has found this activity fun in their own way. Our puppy loves to find fallen pieces and race across the room to secretly destroy the piece before we discover his quest. My husband spends  a lot of time on the phone and uses the puzzle as a way to stay focused as he sits on hold. My daughter mostly likes to take the puzzles apart, she will spend a quiet morning with her mom that normally ends up being competitive, as we race to finish a certain part of the puzzle. I use it as a stress reliever, each puzzle has memories connected to it as I have spend time praying and asking God for guidance as I try to make sense of the jumble around me.

Honestly that is what a puzzle represents in my life. So often we only have a frame work and a mess of crazy pieces you know should fit but have no idea where to start.

Often I look at my life and see piles of unfinished projects, unrealized dreams and chaos. As I have spent time putting together puzzles I see you do not see the picture come together right away if is trial and error as you place on piece at a time. Yet in life I want an instant fix! 

I believe God has called us to an adventure which can be turning over a piece one at a time and figuring out what to do with that piece. 

God has given me big crazy scary dreams, that if you look at my life will not fit, until I move things around to make room for the right piece to be put in place. I hate those puzzles that pieces can "fit" in several spots and quite often I live my life this way forcing pieces to fit into place so I can feel like I have accomplished something other see from the outside as finished.

We are a work in progress!! Sometimes a puppy may come and steal the pieces we need to finish the puzzle. We may have many chewed on, none perfect pieces in our puzzle of life. Be kind to yourself and your journey, God has the whole picture, we only get to see what the box shows us. 

Find God's picture on the box front (by prayer and reading his word) and ask Him to help you make a masterpiece out of the jumble of half chewed on puzzle pieces we all call life!