Time for Clarity

2018 is underway and some resolutions have fallen by the way side, others are a thorn in my side and most are going along with the plan. I have stated before I am not a big resolutions person. I make goals for myself that are often too big or not something worth continuing.

I had big plans for 2018....lots of great changes. Then boom, things make it impossible to meet your goals . I have had some health issues that have derailed my plans for 2018. I have spent the year playing caught up with fighting battles against flu and kidney stones. Over the last week I have felt so frustrated with my lack of progress. I am not a strong as I was in January, I feel behind in housework, and honestly behind in most parts of my life.

I know I am not alone, we all have plans or goals that get derailed from things we have no control over. I know even if I did have control over my big goals for 2018, I may have let them fall to the way side.

As I walk through this frustration I find several interesting facts:

1. Why God? Often that is my first question. I tend to forget His love in times of trouble. I find myself crying and being cranky instead of giving thanks all things. I am often finding a silver lining in all situations yet asking God questions that I may not ask if everything is coming up roses in my life. To be honest sometimes it takes me an embarrassing amount of time to get to my theme in life - "God has a plan for me" no matter what life throws at you we all need the reminder God has a plan and he LOVES you!

2. Best Laid Plans: For those who know me know I am not very flexible (both in life and physically). I am a very scheduled person, I like structure and HATE feeling out of control (this is why I dislike rollerskating). When things like sickness come into life it is easy to feel like life is spiraling out of control. Yet these are the times I find God. When I was lost in South Carolina without a GPS, I have never felt God's direction like I did during that time of non scheduled off roading.  I believe sometimes we need to take life's unexpected off roading trips, and find God in that moment trusting His plan!

3. Refocus: When things are going against our plan, it seems to never be just one thing. Bad situations seem to group together and hit me all at once. This last week I was so overwhelmed my the many things "going wrong" I sat in my car in the Walmart parking lot and cried. I was not even sure what to pray. My brain was mush....so that is where I started. My cry in the car that day was not for healing, to fix our finances, to fix relationships; I prayed for clarity!!

My prayer this week is for the Lord to give me clarity for His plan one day at a time. When I focus on all that is not going according to plan, it gets overwhelming. When I stop and ask God to help my mind be clear and my heart to be focused on Him - NOTHING can stop me. Yes I need things to get fixed but for now all I can control is my mind and heart.